Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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