Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
