I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
