morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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