i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
