there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
