I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
