Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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