I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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