pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
