Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
