I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
