You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
