just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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