do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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