On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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