don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
