So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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