omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
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