Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Too much gin, very little bucket
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
