my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I believe in your delicious
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
