Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Boobs speak an international language.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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