How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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