I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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