Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
