I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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