I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
