I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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