Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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