I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
