ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
