That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
