I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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