Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
