Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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