playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
