you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
