I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
