i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
