i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
