my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
