Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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