Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
