I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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