I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
