Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
