I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
