Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
