he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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