maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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