Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
