She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
