Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
