i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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